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EAP to John Allan,  October 16 , 1831

Baltimore, Oct. 16th 1831

Dear Sir,

It is a long time since I have written to you unless with an application for money or assistance. I am sorry that it is so seldom that I hear from you or even of you -- for all communication seems to be at an end; and when I think of the long twenty one years that I have called you father, and you have called me son, I could cry like a child to think that it should all end in this. You know me too well to think me interested -- if so: why have I rejected your thousand offers of love and kindness? It is true that when I have been in great extremity, I have always applied to you -- for I had no other friend, but it is only at such a time as the present when I can write to you with the consciousness of making no application for assistance, that I dare to open my heart, or speak one word of old affection. When I look back upon the past and think of every thing -- of how much you tried to do for me -- of your forbearance and your generosity, in spite of the most flagrant ingratitude on my part, I can not help thinking myself the greatest fool in existence, -- I am ready to curse the day when I was born.

But I am fully -- truly conscious that all these better feelings have come too late -- I am not the damned villain even to ask you to restore me to the twentieth part of those affections which I have so deservedly lost, and I am resigned to whatever fate is alotted me.

I write merely because I am by myself and have been thinking over old times, and my only friends, until my heart is full -- At such a time the conversation of new acquaintance is like ice, and I prefer writing to you altho' I know that you care nothing about me, and perhaps will not even read my letter.

I have nothing more to say -- and this time, no favour to ask -- Altho I am wretchedly poor, I have managed to get clear of the difficulty I spoke of in my last, and am out of debt, at any rate.

May God bless you –

E A P.

Will you not write one word to me?

Enemies: Allan Griswold

POE: Influences Friends Enemies Women

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