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TEXT: H.P. Lovecraft's "The Rats in the Walls"

RATS: Edgar Bosco Puddin Penelope & Priscilla Manny & Moe

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EDGAR,

the first and the sweetest

Edgar is our first rat. The day after Poe Funeral (October 31, 1999) I resolved myself to finally purchase a rat for a pet. I walked across Wilshire to the neighborhood pet store and was escorted to a small glass cage in the back of the dog kennel where they keep the rats.

All the rats were albino white rats. I chose Edgar because he seemed regal and polite. Maybe I'm projecting, but Edgar has proven to be the most dignified and sweet rat of all.

I have attempted several experiments with my rats.

These experiments were in the nature of cohabitation with one another. I knew better than to put a male rat in a cage with a female rat, but I wanted to see if I could put two male rats together, so they could have company and not be alone.

First, I tried putting Bosco in with Edgar. I hoped new Bosco would easily adapt to Edgar's space. However, just like a small minded human being, Edgar, normally quiet and reserved, attacked Bosco and they commenced to fighting.

I put Bosco back in his own cage.

After Puddin gave birth to six does and five bucks, I tried putting the male rat children into Edgar's cage.

At first, Edgar was simply curious. He followed them around as they scattered throughout the cage, climbing up and all around inside the coated wire cage. Then, Edgar did a strange thing.

He started licking the testicles of the boy rats.

Is Edgar a homosexual rat?

Perhaps.

Or perhaps, any organism, any being, human or rodent, reptile or plant, will take any sex-- rather than no sex?

And who could fault them?

I removed the boys from Edgar's cage when Edgar started getting a little rough. I wasn't running an S&M club for rats.

Edgar and Bosco live alone in their separate cages.

The five boys were given away to a pet store to be sold as high-end, large fancy rats- the rats meant to be pets.

Edgar is still the most regal and polite rat of all.