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Edgar Allan Poe
OPENING:
ON DEMOCRACY
READER-EBBIE PARKER
On Democracy:
READER-MIKE CRAMER
Is it, or is it not a fact,
that the air of a Democracy agrees better with
mere Talent
than
with Genius?
READER-CLIVE REES
In drawing
a line of distinction
between
a people and a mob,
we shall find that
a people aroused to action
are a mob;
and that a mob,
trying to think,
subsides into a people.
READER-RICHARD HEFT
The nose of a mob
is its imagination.
READER-PAUL ROBERTSON
By this,
at any time,
it can be quietly led.
READER-CRAMER
As for Republicanism,
READER-REES
no analogy
could be found for it
upon the face of the earth
READER-HEFT
--unless
we except the case of
the "prairie dogs",
READER-ROBERTSON
which seems to demonstrate,
if anything,
READER-REES
that democracy is
a very admirable form
of government
READER-CRAMER
--for dogs.
READER-PARKER
Not long ago,
to call a man
"a great wizzard,"
was to invoke for him
fire and faggot;
but now,
when we wish
to run our protege for President, we just dub him
"a little magician."
READER-ROBERTSON
The fact is, that,
on account of
the curious
modern
popularization of old opinion, one cannot be
too cautious of
the grounds
on which
he lauds a friend
or vituperates a foe.
READER-HEFT
An infinity of error
makes its way
into our Philosophy,
through
Man's habit of
considering himself
a citizen of a world solely--
of an individual planet--
instead of
at least occasionally contemplating
his position as
cosmopolite proper--
as a
denizen of the universe.
READER-REES
It seems that
the horrid laws of
political economy
cannot be evaded
even by the inspired,
and
that a perfect versification,
READER-CRAMER
a vigorous style,
and a never-tiring fancy,
may,
like the water
we drink and die without,
yet despise,
be so plentifully set forth
as to be
absolutely of no value at all.
READER-ROBERTSON
I can see no objection to gentlemen
"standing for Congress" -- provided
they stand on one side --
READER-HEFT
nor to their
"running for Congress" --
if they are in
a very great hurry to get there -
READER-PARKER
but it would be a blessing
if some of them
could be persuaded
into sitting still,
for Congress,
after they arrive.
ON MONEY
READER-REES
On Money
READER-CRAMER
The Romans
worshipped their standards;
and
the Roman standard
happened to be an eagle.
READER-PARKER
Our standard is
only one-tenth of an Eagle--
a Dollar--
but we make all even
by adoring it
with ten-fold devotion.
READER-HEFT
Lucian,
in describing the statue
"with its surface of
Parian marble
and its interior
filled with rage,"
must have been looking
with a prophetic eye
at some of
our great
"moneyed institutions."
READER-ROBERTSON
The frightfully long
money-pouches
which have come in vogue among our belles
are not of Parisian origin,
as many suppose,
but are
strictly indigenous here.
READER-CRAMER
The fact is,
such a fashion
would be quite out of place
In Paris,
where it is money only
that women keep in a purse.
READER-REES
The purse of
an American lady,
however,
must be large enough
to carry both
her money and
the soul of its owner.
ON EVIL
READER-PARKER
On Evil
READER-CRAMER
I have no faith in
human perfectability.
I think that
human exertion
will have
no appreciable effect
upon humanity.
Man is now
only more active-
not more happy-
nor more wise,
than he was 6000 years ago.
READER-REES
Tell a scoundrel,
three or four times a day,
that he is
the pink of probity,
and you make him
at least
the perfection of
"respectability"
in good earnest.
READER-HEFT
On the other hand,
accuse an honorable man,
too pertinaciously,
of being a villain,
and you fill him
with a perverse ambition
to show you
that you are
not altogether in the wrong.
READER-ROBERTSON
What can be more soothing,
at once
to a man's Pride
and to his Conscience,
than the conviction that,
in taking vengeance
on his enemies
for injustice done him,
he has simply
to do them justice in return?
READER-PARKER
As far as I can understand
the "loving our enemies."
It implies
the hating of our friends.
READER-CRAMER
Children are never
too tender to be whipped -- l
ike tought beefsteaks,
the more you beat them
the more tender they become.
READER-ROBERTSON
Our "bluestockings" are increasing in number
at a great rate;
and should be decimated,
at the very least.
Have we no critic
with nerve enough
to hang
a dozen or two of them,
in terror?
He must use a silk cord,
of course--
as they do,
in Spain,
with all grandees of
the blue blood--
of the "sangre azula."
ON LITERATURE
READER-PARKER
On Literature
READER-REES
Mr. M------,
as a matter of course,
would rather be
abused by the critics
than
not be noticed by them at all;
READER-CRAMER
but he is
hardly to be blamed
for growling a little,
now and then,
over their criticisms--
READER-HEFT
just as a dog might do
if pelted with bones.
READER-PARKER
A pumpkin has
more angles than Mr. C----,
and is altogether
a cleverer thing.
READER-REES
He is remarkable
at one point only--
at that of
being remarkable
for nothing.
READER-CRAMER
If the use of language is
to convey ideas,
then it is nearly
as much a demerit
that our words seem to be,
as that they are,
indefensible.
READER-ROBERTSON
A man's grammar,
like Caesar's wife,
must not only be pure,
but above suspicion of impurity.
READER-HEFT
Some Frenchman--
possibly Montaigne--
says:
"People talk about thinking,
but for my part
I never think,
except
when I sit down to write."
READER-CRAMER
It is this never thinking,
unless
when we sit down to write, which is
the cause
of so much
indifferent composition.
READER-ROBERTSON
I believe it is
Montaigne
who says--
"People talk about thinking,
but,
for my part.
I never begin to think
until I sit down to write."
READER-REES
A better plan for him
would have been,
never to sit down to write
until he had made
an end of thinking.
READER-PARKER
The writer who
neglects punctuation,
or mispunctuates,
is liable to be
misunderstood. . . .
READER-ROBERTSON
For the want of
merely a comma,
it often occurs
that an axiom appears
a paradox,
or that a sarcasm is
converted into a sermon.
READER-HEFT
I cannot help thinking
that romance-writers,
in general,
might,
now and then,
find their account in
taking a hint from
the Chinese,
READER-CRAMER
who,
in spite of building
their houses downwards,
have still sense enough
to begin their books at the end.
READER-REES
The enormous
multiplication of books
in every branch of knowledge,
is one of the
greatest evils of this age;
READER-PARKER
since it presents
one of the
most serious obstacles
to the acquisition of
correct information,
READER-ROBERTSON
by throwing in
the reader's way
piles of lumber,
in which
he must painfully grope
for the scraps of useful matter peradventure interspersed.
READER-PARKER
The ordinary pickpocket
filches a purse,
and the matter is at an end.
READER-CRAMER
He neither takes
honor to himself,
openly,
on the score of
the purloined purse,
READER-HEFT
nor does he
subject the individual robbed
to the charge of
pick-pocketism
in his own person;
READER-PARKER
by so much the less odious
is he,
then,
than
the filcher of
literary property.
READER-ROBERTSON
It is impossible,
we should think,
to imagine
a more sickening spectacle
than that of the plagiarist,
who walks among mankind
with an erecter step,
and who feels his heart beat with a prouder impulse,
on account of plaudits
which he is conscious
are the due of another.
READER-REES
It is the purity,
the nobility,
the ethereality of just fame—
READER-CRAMER
it is the contrast
between this ethereality
and the grossness of
the crime of theft,
which places
the sin of plagiarism
in so detestable a light.
READER-HEFT
We are horror-stricken
to find existing
in the same bosom
the soul-uplifting
thirst for fame,
and the debasing propensity
to pilfer.
READER-PARKER
It is the anomaly—
the discord—
which so grossly offends.
ON GENIUS
READER-REES
On Genius
READER-HEFT
It is the curse
of a certain order of mind,
that it can never rest
satisfied
with the consciousness
of its ability to do a thing.
READER-PARKER
Still less
is it content
with doing it.
READER-ROBERTSON
It must both know
and show
how it was done.
READER-CRAMER
Let a man
succeed
ever so evidently--
ever so demonstrably--
in many different
displays of genius,
READER-REES
the envy of criticism
will agree with
the popular voice
in denying him
more than talent in any.
READER-HEFT
To vilify a great man
is the readiest way
in which
a little man can himself
attain greatness.
READER-PARKER
The Crab might never
have become
a Constellation
but for the courage
it evinced
in nibbling
Hercules on the heel.
READER-ROBERTSON
....It will be found,
in fact,
that
the ingenious are
always fanciful,
and
the truly imaginative
never otherwise
than analytic.
READER-CRAMER
I have sometimes
amused myself
by endeavoring
to fancy
what would be
the fate of
any individual gifted,
or rather accursed,
with an intellect
very far superior
to that of his race.
READER-REES
Of course,
he would be
conscious of his superiority;
nor could he help
manifesting
his consciousness.
Thus
he would
make himself enemies
at all points.
READER-PARKER
And since
his opinions and
speculations
would widely differ
from those of all mankind--
that he would be considered
a madman,
is evident.
READER-HEFT
How horribly painful
such a condition!
Hell could invent
no greater torture
than that of being
charged with
abnormal weakness
on account of
being abnormally strong.
READER-ROBERTSON
In like manner,
nothing can be clearer
than that
a very generous spirit--
truly feeling
what all merely profess--
must inevitably
find itself
misconceived
in every direction-
-its motives misinterpreted.
READER-PARKER
Just as
extremeness of intelligence would be thought fatuity,
so excess of chivalry
could not fail of being
looked upon
as meanness
in its last degree:--
READER-REES
and so on
with other virtues.
READER-CRAMER
This subject is
a painful one indeed.
READER-HEFT
That individuals
have so soared above
the plane of their race,
is scarcely to be questioned;
READER-ROBERTSON
but,
in looking back through history for traces of their existence,
we should pass over
all biographies of
"the good and the great,"
READER-PARKER
while we search carefully
the slight records
of wretches
who died in prison,
in Bedlam,
or upon the gallows.
ON HUMOUR
READER-HEFT
On Humour
READER-REES
Whatever merit
may be discovered
in a pun,
arises altogether from unexpectedness.
READER-CRAMER
This is the pun's element
and is two-fold.
READER-ROBERTSON
First,
we demand
that
the combination of the pun
be unexpected;
READER-HEFT
and,
secondly,
we require
the most entire
unexpectedness
in the pun per se.
READER-REES
A rare pun,
rarely appearing,
is, to a certain extent,
a pleasurable effect;
READER-PARKER
but to no mind,
however debased in taste,
is
a continuous effort
at punning
otherwise than unendurable.
READER-CRAMER
Here is something at which
I find it impossible
not to laugh;
and yet,
I laugh
without knowing why.
READER-REES
That incongruity is
the principle of all
non-convulsive laughter,
is to my mind
as clearly demonstrated
as any problem in
the "Principia Mathematica;"
READER-PARKER
but here
I cannot trace
the incongruous.
It is there, I know.
Still I do not see it.
In the meantime let me laugh.
ENDING
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